so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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