so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
