she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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