i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
