i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
