If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
