I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
