Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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