you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
