Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
