When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
