Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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