It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
