remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
