Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
