Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
