Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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