Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
