I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
