I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
