Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
