I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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