So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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