hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
