Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
