Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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