Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Holy sore nipples Batman
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
