i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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