My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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