dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
