Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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