She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
