I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
