Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
PANTIES FOUND
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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