Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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