Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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