Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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