I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
