ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Buhtt sex?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
