Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
