ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
