I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
