the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
