that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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