I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
