5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
