She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
