There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
