Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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