cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
