I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
