doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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