What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His nipple licking is glorious
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